A Good Enough Reason Page 7

  “All right.”

  Ellis reached for his brother and hugged him. It wasn’t something they did often, not anymore, and he hoped it showed Connor how much Ellis loved him.

  Connor’s arms went around Ellis, and he hugged back. “I’ll stop nosing in your stuff, but I want you to remember I love you,” Connor whispered in Ellis’s ear. “I know we don’t see each other as much as we could lately, and I don’t say this often, but you’re my little brother, and nothing you do will make me love you less, I promise.”

  Ellis nodded against Connor’s shoulder, and after a few pats on the shoulders, they separated. Both of them leaned back against the couch and looked at everything but each other.

  Ellis grabbed his book again as Connor turned the TV on, and they didn’t talk again until their mom came home.

  “YOU READY, Al?”

  Alicia scowled at Dale. “Don’t call me Al.”

  “Sorry.” He loved teasing his sister, and she was especially prickly about her name. He’d been calling her Al since she was born, but she’d started hating it about a year before and corrected him when he used it ever since. “So? Are you ready?”

  “Yes. My bag is packed.”

  “Let’s go say good-bye to Mom, then.”

  They were going to their dad’s for the weekend, and Dale couldn’t wait. He missed his dad, and a few weekends a month weren’t enough. He wanted to talk to his mom about it, but he couldn’t seem to find the right moment.

  Dale knew his mother would feel bad about it, not because Dale wanted to see his dad more, but because she’d think it was because she wasn’t enough, and that wasn’t true. Yes, she worked a lot, but Dad did too, and Dale loved taking care of his sister. She was easy to deal with.

  Besides, in only a few months, Dale would start college, and he wouldn’t see either of his parents much. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss them, but he’d be going to the closest college, so he knew he could come home—to both his homes—whenever he wanted.

  Mom was folding laundry in her bedroom. Dale kissed her cheek quickly and hugged her, then left the room to put their bags in his car.

  Alicia got there soon after, and they left. The ride to their dad’s apartment wasn’t long, and Alicia spent the entire time singing the last single of whatever girl band she was in love with this week. Dale didn’t pay attention to it anymore because he was used to it, but damn, his sister would never win a singing competition.

  He grabbed both their bags when they got there and followed Alicia inside the building and into the elevator. Their dad was waiting for them at the door when they stepped out, and Alicia threw herself in his arms.

  Dale smiled and followed at a more sedate pace, and by the time he got there, Alicia had already disappeared inside the apartment. He smiled at his dad, and they quickly hugged, then went inside.

  Alicia was already in her room, so Dale handed her bag to her and went to his. He plugged the charger into his phone and left it there, then headed to the kitchen. Dad was cooking, and it smelled divine. “Damn, you’re spoiling us, Dad.”

  Dad pointed at him with a wooden spoon. “No swearing, Dale. And thanks. I like spoiling you. I wish I could do it more often.”

  Dale lifted himself up and sat on the counter. “I’m thinking about asking Mom if we can come here when she’s away for work. We’re home alone anyway.”

  “I’d love to have you here, Dale.”

  Dale hummed and watched his dad cook. He wondered what Ellis was doing, then stopped and wondered why he was wondering that. His little half crush on his partner made him uncomfortable, both because he had a girlfriend and should be crushing on her, and because it made it hard for Dale to forget he was bi rather than straight.

  He knew it, of course, but before, it had been easy to forget or at least to avoid thinking about. Ellis was making it harder, and Dale didn’t like it.

  “Anything new?”

  “Yeah. I have a new partner in English. The assignment is 20 percent of our final grade.”

  Dad looked sideways at Ellis while adding salt to the zucchini. “Is he helping, or are you doing all the work?”

  Dale thought about how he’d been late that day. “He’s doing a lot, don’t worry.”

  “Good. Now call your sister. Dinner’s ready.”

  Dale hopped down and obeyed. Dinner was nice, and Dale helped with the dishes. He left his dad in front of the TV and went to bed, his thoughts once again wandering off to Ellis. Dale groaned. He couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Ellis.

  It couldn’t be good.

  Chapter Five

  “HEY, WHAT do you think of Anthony?”

  Ellis looked up from his notebook and gave Dale a confused glance. “Who?”

  “Anthony Wilkins.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “He’s on the soccer team with me. Tall, broad shoulders, shaggy blond hair.”

  “Okaaay.” Ellis waited for Dale to elaborate, but he just stared back at Ellis expectantly. Ellis sighed. He had no intention of spending the rest of his lunch break looking at Dale and waiting for him to open his mouth and talk, not with how hard it had been to find an empty classroom he could write in. He should have known his privacy wouldn’t last long. “What about Anthony?”

  “Rumors say he’s gay.”

  Ellis had never heard that particular rumor, but it didn’t surprise him since he tended to avoid listening to them anyway. He nodded. “Good for him, but I don’t see what it has to do with me.”

  “What do you think about him?”

  “I don’t even know him, Dale. How can I think anything about him?”

  Dale’s enthusiasm seemed to wane a bit, but he trooped on. “He could be your prom date.”

  “No.”

  The smile on Dale’s face faded completely. “Why not? He’s nice and cute.”

  Ellis dismissed the fact that Dale thought a guy was cute, knowing his mind would drift back to that particular detail later, and asked, “How do you know for sure he’s gay?”

  “Well, I don’t have 100 percent certainty.”

  “So?”

  “I could ask him if you want, maybe try to see if he likes you.”

  “How could he like me if we don’t know each other? Besides, as far as we know, he’s straighter than you.”

  Dale paled a bit, and Ellis thought about what he’d said, but he couldn’t think of anything bad, unless Dale was upset about the straighter than you thing.

  “You sure you don’t want me to ask him?”

  “No, thanks. I already told you I’m fine on my own. You and Anna should go on with your lives instead of meddling in mine.”

  “You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if we did.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

  Dale huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. I won’t ask you again, okay?”

  Ellis smiled. “Finally! Thank you, Dale.”

  Dale leaned toward Ellis. “What are you working on? Homework?”

  Ellis blushed a bit. “Ah, not exactly. I mean, I should be working on my Fiction Writing project, but I’m kind of stuck at the moment, so I thought I’d try something else.”

  “What are you writing, then? And why are you blushing?”

  “I’m not.”

  Dale smirked. “Oooh, now I know you’re hiding something you don’t want me to find out. You do know that’s only going to make me look harder, right?”

  “It’s nothing, just, you know, something I do when I’m bored.”

  Dale leaned toward Ellis even more. “Writing isn’t nothing for you. Even I know that.”

  Ellis crossed his arms over his notebook, not that it would be enough to stop Dale. Ellis hadn’t known Dale long, but he already knew how stubborn he was. If he wanted something, he would do whatever it took to get it.

  Dale poked Ellis in the side, beaming when Ellis giggled—giggled!—and tried to move away. Dale attacked, poking and wiggling his fingers unt
il Ellis was breathless with laughter. Dale took advantage of it and snatched the notebook with one hand while the other one was still against Ellis’s side.

  Ellis reached for it, but to no avail. Dale kept him away, and his arms were longer than Ellis’s. Ellis gave up and slumped in his seat. “Fine, take a look at it, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when you end up traumatized.”

  Dale arched a brow. “What should you warn me about?”

  Now it was Ellis’s turn to smirk. “You’ll see.” He’d tried to stop Dale, so it wouldn’t be his fault if the guy ended up reading gay sex.

  Ellis watched as Dale’s eyes followed the words he’d written in his notebook. He waited for a cringe, a grimace of disgust or at least unease, but they never came.

  Dale laughed. “You thought you needed to warn me about this?”

  “Uh, yes?”

  “Oh, Ellis.” Dale reached over and patted Ellis’s cheek like he was five years old. “You’re going to have to try a lot harder than this if you want to scandalize me.”

  “But… you’re not even queasy?”

  “Why should I be?”

  Dale handed Ellis the notebook, and Ellis took it gratefully. “Well, you know. You’re straight. You just read about gay sex. Seems obvious to me.”

  Dale looked away. “I’m not a bigot.”

  “I never said you were, but you have to admit not a lot of straight guys would have read this without being grossed out.”

  Dale looked at him again, and this time he was smiling. “Oh yeah? So what about you? Does straight sex make you—how was it? Queasy?”

  “It’s not like I’ve ever had or seen straight sex, so I wouldn’t know.”

  “Never?”

  “Never.”

  Ellis was surprised he was comfortable enough with Dale to be able to admit it. He didn’t hide his sexuality, not exactly, but he certainly didn’t flaunt it. He wasn’t sure what made everyone think he was gay, but he wasn’t going to deny it. Even so, he’d never been comfortable enough with anyone other than Matt to talk about it, and Matt was a special case.

  Matt was the one Ellis had started experimenting with. He was the one Ellis had given his first kiss to, the one the first stumbles in sex had happened with, at least until they’d both realized they were uncomfortable and awkward doing that together because they felt like brothers. Now they only talked about sex, and not only because Matt lived hundreds of miles away.

  “I might have to expand your knowledge.”

  Ellis spluttered. “What? No way!”

  “Awww, is itsy-bitsy Ellis scared of seeing women’s parts?”

  “I’m not scared, just not interested.”

  Dale poked Ellis in the side again. “Come on.”

  “Why do you want me to see that anyway?”

  “Because it’ll be fun to see you blush and look anywhere but at the screen. View it as research for the books you’ll write one day.”

  “They won’t be straight romance books.”

  “Who knows? Besides, everyone should know how girls work down there.”

  Ellis firmly pushed away the image of Dale and Stephanie that appeared in his mind. “Why? It’s not like I’m ever going to do anything like that.”

  “What about if one day you want a surrogate mother to have your kids? Are you going to run away when she gives birth?”

  “What? You can’t use that as a good reason! One, I don’t know if I’ll ever want kids, two, maybe if I do, I’ll adopt, and three, even if I do want a surrogate mother, I’m sure she won’t want a gay guy looking between her legs while she gives birth.” Ellis shivered at the thought.

  “Please?”

  Ellis didn’t know why Dale was insisting so much, so he resorted to his last option. “Only if you come over and watch gay porn with me.”

  He was so sure Dale would back out, but he should’ve expected he wouldn’t. Dale stuck his hand out, and Ellis did the only thing he could do—he grasped it and shook.

  “Deal. When do you want to do it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You have anything to do this afternoon?”

  “No, but—”

  “Great! I’ll see you after practice, then.” Dale got up without waiting for Ellis to answer—or protest and find a way out of it.

  Ellis groaned, watching Dale’s tight ass move under his jeans as he walked away. He was so fucked.

  “WHY DO I have to do this again?”

  “Because you said you would, and you’re not one to go back on promises.”

  Ellis snorted. “I don’t remember making any promises.”

  “Maybe you didn’t, but we shook hands after you said yes. That means there’s a contract between us, and you can’t break it.”

  Ellis shook his head and followed Dale to the front door of the small house they’d driven to. Ellis didn’t have a car, and Dale had sworn he would give him a lift when they were done, even though they didn’t live far away from each other. “You make it sound like it’s official. Will I melt or burst into a puff of smoke if I go back on my word?”

  “Yup, rainbow-colored smoke.” Dale slid his key into the lock and opened the door.

  “Whatever.”

  “What, you’re chickening out?”

  The smirk on Dale’s lips was absolutely devious and so sexy it made Ellis want to reach out and touch him. He resisted the urge and stuck his tongue out instead. “You wish.”

  Dale was looking at Ellis’s mouth with a weird expression on his face, so Ellis cleared his throat. Dale shook himself and pushed the door open. He led Ellis inside and pointed as they went. “That’s the living room, then there’s the downstairs bathroom and the kitchen. Do you want something to drink?”

  “Ah, no, thanks.” Ellis looked around while Dale opened the fridge. The house wasn’t big, but it was cozy and comfortable looking. He’d seen an afghan bundled on the couch and a stack of magazines on the coffee table next to a mug when they’d passed the living room. There was a pink butterfly-shaped hair clip on the table in the kitchen and two open envelopes on the counter. A few dirty glasses were in the sink, and the dishwasher was slightly open, revealing clean dishes. “Where is everyone?”

  “Mom’s at work, and Alicia goes to a friend’s house a few afternoons every week, so I can focus on homework.”

  The fridge door closed, and Ellis looked at Dale again.

  “Sure you don’t want anything?”

  Ellis shook his head and followed Dale toward the stairs. He would never admit it, but he was nervous. Not about the porn part, although he wasn’t exactly looking forward to that. He knew how heterosexual sex worked, of course, and he didn’t need a didactic porn viewing about it.

  No, he was afraid of how he—or more specifically, his body—would react to the situation. It was potentially explosive, and not in the good sense. The last thing Ellis needed or wanted was to pop wood while he was in the same room as Dale, possibly sitting on the same bed. It’s not like he had to do anything about it if it happened, of course. He’d just watch the movie. Then he’d go home. Yeah, right.

  If the kisses Ellis had shared with Matt had been awkward and uncomfortable, they would be nothing next to what would happen if Dale noticed Ellis was hard—and he knew he would be. That’s what porn was for after all, even though not all the participants had the right equipment for him. Ellis hoped it would be because of the movie, at least, and not because of something Dale might do. The man was straight, so he obviously would like what they were about to watch. It made Ellis wonder how Dale looked under his clothes and if he was going to be able to peek, but he shoved the thought as deep in his mind as he could as soon as it came up.

  He groaned. He wanted to turn around and run, but they were already at the top of the stairs. There were four doors on the landing, and Dale pointed to them like he’d done downstairs. “That’s my mom’s room, my sister’s, and mine. That one is the bathroom, in case, you know.” Dale gestured toward Ellis’s gro
in, and Ellis blushed and nodded.

  “Uh, sure.”

  Dale opened the one leading to his room. Ellis followed him inside and looked around. He’d wanted to know what Dale’s room looked like for a while, and it was exactly what he’d expected.

  The requisite dirty clothes were thrown around, the sheets on the queen-size bed were bundled at its foot, the desk held a computer and scattered books and notebooks. There was a TV and a DVD player on the dresser facing the bed, which had a few drawers slightly open and stuff peeking from their depths.

  Dale started moving things around, straightened the sheets and the comforter, and mumbled an apology. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

  Ellis nodded and put his backpack down next to the desk. His eyes went to the books on the shelves above it, and they widened in surprise at the titles. The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones—all of Ellis’s favorites were there and looked well read. The spines of the books were cracked and worn, and some even had colored notes peeking from between the pages, some of them filled with writing Ellis recognized as Dale’s.

  He looked around the room again and ignored Dale. This time he noticed small details he’d failed to see at first—the Great Gatsby poster on the closet door, the Game of Thrones mug on the desk—everything spoke Dale’s secret passions, and Ellis was surprised to see they shared so many.

  “Now I know why you got my T-shirt.”

  Dale looked up from where he was picking up clothes, and blushed when he saw Ellis standing next to his desk. “Yeah, well.”

  “How come you never told me?”

  “It’s not something I tell a lot of people.”

  “Why not?”

  Dale pushed the clothes into the hamper standing in a corner. “People see what they want to see. I’m a jock, so they don’t expect me to like those things.”

  “Have I ever treated you like a stupid jock?”

  Dale’s eyes were penetrating when he stared at Ellis. “To be honest, you did, even if only in the beginning. I guess you thought that since I play sports, that means I’m stupid too.”